Sitting on my bed.. newly spread bed linen.. feet touching the floor which is still wet from the wiping.. disinfected smell rising in the air.. melancholic music playing in the background.. hot vapour from the freshly brewed coffee forming the mist on the photo frame.. a perfect setting probably to scribble down a romantic poem.. I sat there just sipping up the hot coffee and she was resting her head on my shoulder.. talking random stuff... sharing anecdotes from the past.. remembering a similar Sunday morning.. Suddenly an urge... an urge to go back, not go back in time but go back to those places.. get back together with those familiar faces.. somewhere down the lane, the lane called "work" or "making a living", left it all behind..
I got up, turned and looked at her.. suddenly i didn't feel it.. there wasn't that spark in her eyes.. or probably the sparkle was missing in mine.. i closed my eyes.. took a deep breath silenced out the world .. but yes the music still echoed in the back ground.. after a few seconds opened my eyes.. the surroundings now had a bluish tint to it but it didn't feel fresh.. i looked at her again.. she gazed at me surprised and confused.. but she still smiled though.. i winked at her and smiled.. and walked out to the balcony.. i knew it.. its over.. i guess she felt it too she came up and hugged me from behind.. i looked down to see her fingers interlock themselves wrinkling my shirt with it.. i could feel her heart pounding on my back.. i could also feel her warm breath.. i held her hand, it was so cold, loosened her grip, turned around and said it in the worst plain simple words possible.. 'Pratheeksha, its over!' her eyes filled up suddenly.. her voice crumbled. She knew it i guess.. she turned around slowly walked away.. probably hoping i would call her back.. i just looked on.. she picked up her bag and left..
as heartless as i can be i felt a void in me.. an empty space.. a missing block.. i was probably literally heartless.. walked in turned on the TV and lay flat on my bean bag.. skipping channels.. mind went in to a trance random images appearing in different channels, voice muted out..
my subconscious mind picked up one image.. worli sea link.. i miss bombay.. i miss sitting on the broken concrete compound wall of some worli mill late night with a pack of baskin & robin ice cream bavarian chocolate usually.. loud music in the ears.. i miss driving pointlessly in the deserted roads of bombay at nights.. a city that gave me so much.. a city where i fell in love a zillion times.. a city that gave me some tight hugs.. a few romantic kisses.. a few walks along the marine drive.. a few endless conversations at marine drive.. rains that drenched my soul quite often.. a few pointless night outs.. a few tear drops.. a few heartbreaks..
"bhaiyya .. airport chaloge?" i asked an auto wala.. i couldn't resist.. i was off to my favourite city.. it was raining and the unusual mid February rain bringing the temperatures down, making it chillier in the auto.. i was smiling.. i don't know why but i was smiling.. shivering in the cold but smiling..
"Welcome to Chatrapati Sivaji International Terminal, Mumbai the outside temperature is 28oC" announced the hostess. Jumped up from my seat, getting pointlessly restless.
"Ek non-a/c taxi haji ali" i told the lady at the pre-paid taxi counter.
Like a dog, i put my head out with nice luke warm moist wind in my hair. seeing some new changes to the city since the last time that i was here.. here i am worli sealink, crossed it and stopped at haji ali.. stood there blankly looking at the most beautiful spectrum - water splashing on the walls of Haji ali.. it was high tide and water level had risen.. sea was splashing against the cement tripods its just so refreshing to see that delightful sight.. Picked up a plate of dry fruit cream from Haji Ali Juice centre, relishing the taste i walked towards another cab, he took me to lalbaug from there to mahim.. to parel.. to BSE.. to nariman point!
At nariman point i sat down listening to the waves.. looking at fishermen boats far and wide.. time just flew by.. and as i sat down the street lights came on.. sky scrapers started shining.. the Canon Logo..Wankhede Stadium.. oh what sight..
i was drowning in that euphoria called Mumbai! My heart was in a state of trance.. no phone calls.. no emails.. nothing.. i didn't even call my good friends, my cousins and my naughty notorious nieces.. but somehow i didn't want to i was content being alone.. probably the first time ever in my life i was enjoying the company of myself..
Me with my thoughts for company, i sat there doing nothing just random thoughts in my head.. I was reminded of the wonderful moments i spent with each of them.. be it the night out with the gang at marine drive and early morning movie (that changed my life) to celebrate the visit of an out of town friend.. those drives with the gang to 'Crystal' to have the most amazing 'Aaam rass' and the phulke and rajma.. yummmm... mouth's watering already.. i miss this gang, a lot crazy fuckers.. who enjoyed the same genre of films and the same old music and the same old lines..
was reminded of the sunday(s) at my aunts place.. go for breakfast end up having dinner and return after spending good time with them, their kids (my cousins) and their grand children (my nieces) days!!
I felt a little heaviness when i thought of that person.. "the one who shall not be named" quickly i shook my head as if i wanted to wake up and get out of the land slide of emotions..
and as usual i tried to think of the good things.. and there came a special person.. a person.. who quietly grew into me.. a person thinking of whom i wrote my best blog ever only a few knew who this was.. she doesn't know.. anyways that brought a lot of thoughts in my head and few blushes on my face.. was soo tempted to pick up the phone and call her.. didn't.. i had to be unbiased i didn't call anyone so how can i call only her.. so didn't call.. [but yeah.. did message her ;) after a long time the next day and of course didn't tell her i was in her town..] anyways... the thought of that person did wake me up and made me smile and resurrect back to the wonderful feeling... its puzzled me when does it hit? when do you fall? and my fav. question.. "Ullagathil Evalon Pengal irruke nyan ee avale love panne?" [there are a zillion girls in this world.. still i fell in love with her why?] i don't know but its better it stays in me that out in public [look at me and i am blogging about it] whatever.. i feel somewhere inside me i want her to know.. but scared..
this made me go off on a tangent again.. but luckily i realized i had a flight back to catch and be in office next day.. at 02:25 am.. and it was as i remember.. 23:30 so i decided to get up and dust my butt.. and walk towards a cab which will take me to Churchgate Railway station. But wait.. why taxi? its walkable..i used to walk to churchgate from here.. done it many times before..! oh sorry that was in the evening.. walk through hindustan college.. look and 'aahe baro' on pretty girls, feel good and board the train.. But right now its late not many wandering souls so decided to stick to my first idea.. cab to churchgate!
Having come to Mumbai and not taken a train ride.. what have you done?? so there I am standing at the door cool wind in my hair.. looking at the ground in front of charni road station.. looking at the chaals.. its all brings a smile on my face remembering the train rides as well.
Life has a struggling side in Mumbai.. every one knows it.. but there is a flip side a side that makes you smile.. makes you feel alive.. makes you fall in love.. and makes you feel better in love.. I have been in delhi for exactly an year now.. [26 - Feb - 2012] I have my closest friends and my best'est' friends in this city.. i bet if not for them i would have left my really amazing job and gone back to Mumbai.. but they are the one reason i am still here.. its not that i hate delhi.. i love it too.. but Mumbai with the Gang, with family and that very few moments with that special person.. is not replaceable.. and somehow that's created a void. A void created by many on a common pedestal called.. Mumbai..
I got up, turned and looked at her.. suddenly i didn't feel it.. there wasn't that spark in her eyes.. or probably the sparkle was missing in mine.. i closed my eyes.. took a deep breath silenced out the world .. but yes the music still echoed in the back ground.. after a few seconds opened my eyes.. the surroundings now had a bluish tint to it but it didn't feel fresh.. i looked at her again.. she gazed at me surprised and confused.. but she still smiled though.. i winked at her and smiled.. and walked out to the balcony.. i knew it.. its over.. i guess she felt it too she came up and hugged me from behind.. i looked down to see her fingers interlock themselves wrinkling my shirt with it.. i could feel her heart pounding on my back.. i could also feel her warm breath.. i held her hand, it was so cold, loosened her grip, turned around and said it in the worst plain simple words possible.. 'Pratheeksha, its over!' her eyes filled up suddenly.. her voice crumbled. She knew it i guess.. she turned around slowly walked away.. probably hoping i would call her back.. i just looked on.. she picked up her bag and left..
as heartless as i can be i felt a void in me.. an empty space.. a missing block.. i was probably literally heartless.. walked in turned on the TV and lay flat on my bean bag.. skipping channels.. mind went in to a trance random images appearing in different channels, voice muted out..
my subconscious mind picked up one image.. worli sea link.. i miss bombay.. i miss sitting on the broken concrete compound wall of some worli mill late night with a pack of baskin & robin ice cream bavarian chocolate usually.. loud music in the ears.. i miss driving pointlessly in the deserted roads of bombay at nights.. a city that gave me so much.. a city where i fell in love a zillion times.. a city that gave me some tight hugs.. a few romantic kisses.. a few walks along the marine drive.. a few endless conversations at marine drive.. rains that drenched my soul quite often.. a few pointless night outs.. a few tear drops.. a few heartbreaks..
"bhaiyya .. airport chaloge?" i asked an auto wala.. i couldn't resist.. i was off to my favourite city.. it was raining and the unusual mid February rain bringing the temperatures down, making it chillier in the auto.. i was smiling.. i don't know why but i was smiling.. shivering in the cold but smiling..
"Welcome to Chatrapati Sivaji International Terminal, Mumbai the outside temperature is 28oC" announced the hostess. Jumped up from my seat, getting pointlessly restless.
"Ek non-a/c taxi haji ali" i told the lady at the pre-paid taxi counter.
Like a dog, i put my head out with nice luke warm moist wind in my hair. seeing some new changes to the city since the last time that i was here.. here i am worli sealink, crossed it and stopped at haji ali.. stood there blankly looking at the most beautiful spectrum - water splashing on the walls of Haji ali.. it was high tide and water level had risen.. sea was splashing against the cement tripods its just so refreshing to see that delightful sight.. Picked up a plate of dry fruit cream from Haji Ali Juice centre, relishing the taste i walked towards another cab, he took me to lalbaug from there to mahim.. to parel.. to BSE.. to nariman point!
At nariman point i sat down listening to the waves.. looking at fishermen boats far and wide.. time just flew by.. and as i sat down the street lights came on.. sky scrapers started shining.. the Canon Logo..Wankhede Stadium.. oh what sight..
i was drowning in that euphoria called Mumbai! My heart was in a state of trance.. no phone calls.. no emails.. nothing.. i didn't even call my good friends, my cousins and my naughty notorious nieces.. but somehow i didn't want to i was content being alone.. probably the first time ever in my life i was enjoying the company of myself..
Me with my thoughts for company, i sat there doing nothing just random thoughts in my head.. I was reminded of the wonderful moments i spent with each of them.. be it the night out with the gang at marine drive and early morning movie (that changed my life) to celebrate the visit of an out of town friend.. those drives with the gang to 'Crystal' to have the most amazing 'Aaam rass' and the phulke and rajma.. yummmm... mouth's watering already.. i miss this gang, a lot crazy fuckers.. who enjoyed the same genre of films and the same old music and the same old lines..
was reminded of the sunday(s) at my aunts place.. go for breakfast end up having dinner and return after spending good time with them, their kids (my cousins) and their grand children (my nieces) days!!
I felt a little heaviness when i thought of that person.. "the one who shall not be named" quickly i shook my head as if i wanted to wake up and get out of the land slide of emotions..
and as usual i tried to think of the good things.. and there came a special person.. a person.. who quietly grew into me.. a person thinking of whom i wrote my best blog ever only a few knew who this was.. she doesn't know.. anyways that brought a lot of thoughts in my head and few blushes on my face.. was soo tempted to pick up the phone and call her.. didn't.. i had to be unbiased i didn't call anyone so how can i call only her.. so didn't call.. [but yeah.. did message her ;) after a long time the next day and of course didn't tell her i was in her town..] anyways... the thought of that person did wake me up and made me smile and resurrect back to the wonderful feeling... its puzzled me when does it hit? when do you fall? and my fav. question.. "Ullagathil Evalon Pengal irruke nyan ee avale love panne?" [there are a zillion girls in this world.. still i fell in love with her why?] i don't know but its better it stays in me that out in public [look at me and i am blogging about it] whatever.. i feel somewhere inside me i want her to know.. but scared..
this made me go off on a tangent again.. but luckily i realized i had a flight back to catch and be in office next day.. at 02:25 am.. and it was as i remember.. 23:30 so i decided to get up and dust my butt.. and walk towards a cab which will take me to Churchgate Railway station. But wait.. why taxi? its walkable..i used to walk to churchgate from here.. done it many times before..! oh sorry that was in the evening.. walk through hindustan college.. look and 'aahe baro' on pretty girls, feel good and board the train.. But right now its late not many wandering souls so decided to stick to my first idea.. cab to churchgate!
Having come to Mumbai and not taken a train ride.. what have you done?? so there I am standing at the door cool wind in my hair.. looking at the ground in front of charni road station.. looking at the chaals.. its all brings a smile on my face remembering the train rides as well.
Life has a struggling side in Mumbai.. every one knows it.. but there is a flip side a side that makes you smile.. makes you feel alive.. makes you fall in love.. and makes you feel better in love.. I have been in delhi for exactly an year now.. [26 - Feb - 2012] I have my closest friends and my best'est' friends in this city.. i bet if not for them i would have left my really amazing job and gone back to Mumbai.. but they are the one reason i am still here.. its not that i hate delhi.. i love it too.. but Mumbai with the Gang, with family and that very few moments with that special person.. is not replaceable.. and somehow that's created a void. A void created by many on a common pedestal called.. Mumbai..
